The One Who Got Away

If you are as old as me, you remember the AOL chat scene from the late 90s. Long before I was sucked into the world of a narcassist, long before responsibilities of being a parent to a highly sensitive child…I was a college student exploring the world wide web. In the early 90s, before snapchat, instagram and tiktok…there was this thing called AOL. For the first time in history, you could spend 3-4 minutes dialing into this wonderful world called ‘AOL’….where you could email and even directly CHAT with people across the state, the nation and even the WORLD…for the first time! It was extra special…and we all couldn’t get enough of this new way to connect with people just like us! We found ourselves in ‘chat rooms’ where we would search for people with similar interests and backgrounds to chat with. Keep in mind, this was before smart phones and text messaging….this was revolutionary!

My chat room of choice was a local chatroom. My intention was to connect with people like me. I wasn’t alone and sadly always seem to have someone pulling the ‘puppet strings’ of my life, but that is another story all together. For now, what’s important to note is that I met someone in one of those chat rooms that is still in my thoughts…even today.

We spoke often online and even had the opportunity to meet in person. There was an instant connection when we met, but the timing just wasn’t right. In fact, despite chatting online, and later through texts and emails….the time was NEVER right. Years past and our lives never aligned. Despite the longing and missed chances to connect, I still sit here today wondering what could’ve been. If only I had done something different or been something ‘more’…..been bolder or stronger…would it have come to be?

I guess I will always wonder what could have been…..with the one who got away.