First Court Date

The first time I was ever sworn in and testified to a judge was during the beginning of a very long divorce and custody battle with Dee. Although we separated in August 2017, it wasn’t until July 27, 2018 when we would first meet the judge in his office…the man who would be deciding who Amber would be living with. Yes, there was child support and alimony to consider, as well as who has rights to the home we lived in….but none of that mattered nearly as much to me as what would happen with Amber. We had already spent nearly a year in a battle of control with no protection from Dee’s chaotic state. I had no idea how long it took to get into a judge! Besides that, there were problems with my lawyer that further delayed the process and made the agony linger. The papers I was served in the fall of 2017 had already shaken me with the extreme allegations based on lies from an out of control narcissist. Not being able to answer them with the truth for nearly a year made things even worse. The emotional abuse during that year to both Amber and myself was never ending, and I couldn’t WAIT for legal protection and to get closer to putting this entire thing far behind us.

Although it was very costly, I took the advice and ordered the transcription from the first hearing. This turned out to be a blessing for me when I switched lawyers later that year. My new lawyer was able to quickly get up to speed and point out issues and how we could address them in the future…all simply by reading the transcript. After a recent purge of paperwork I’ve been hanging onto, I ran across the bounded 157 page transcript and decided to re-read. If you can remove yourself from the hurt and emotion, it really is an interesting read…especially if you’ve never been to court and are not really sure how it goes. We weren’t sitting in a court room with a jury but for someone who has NEVER been in a courtroom (or a defendant in a court case) it was extremely intimidating.

My lawyer was a 30 something female who was passed my case when a partner in her law firm abruptly changed professions and left the law practice. She was difficult to contact and always seemed busy on another case. Nevertheless, she spent time letting me know how things would go and offered to meet me outside the courthouse early so we could walk in together. We had planned to get coffee before hand to catch up and talk, but there was an accident on her way in from the city and she was running behind. She met me outside and she had a cigarette while we talked about what to expect. We rode the elevator to the second floor, passed through the metal detector, and sat on a bench in a long hallway, waiting for the judge. Dee was there already with a man that looked barely old enough to have graduated law school. There were other people in the hall waiting for bailiffs to call them back to meet with judges. The transcriptionist that we hired arrived also while we waited. This was all new to me and although I knew how to be professional, I would soon be sitting across a long table from my mortal enemy who would undoubtedly spout lies about me to the one man who could take my daughter from me. Thinking back, only God could get me through something like that.

When the bailiff called out our last names, we all stood and followed him through a locked door back to the judges’s office. We sat at a long table with the bailiff directing us where to sit. The judge sat at a desk with a computer at the end of the table, in front of a large window looking out to a sunny day. Dee’s lawyer sat closest to the judge by the wall furthest from the door, with Dee sitting next to him. Dee’s lawyer started unpacking large containers of paper documents while my lawyer began settling in her spot across from him. I sat across from Dee in the spot closest to the door. The transcriptionist began setting up near the judge while the judge offered us all a water and exchanged pleasantries.

Although I will likely not share the entire thing, I will post pieces of the conversation directly from the transcript. It will give you a ‘flavor’ of the things said and why my new lawyer decided he couldn’t wait to take this case and make things ‘right’ for me.

PROCEEDINGS: HUSBAND’S MOTION FOR TEMPORARY
TIME-SHARING SCHEDULE, WIFE’S
MOTION FOR TEMPORARY TIME-SHARING
SCHEDULE, HUSBAND’S MOTION FOR
TEMPORARY RELIEF, AND WIFE’S
MOTION FOR TEMPORARY RELIEF